Saturday, April 10, 2010
Sometimes in life I have thought that I can do anything and that I don't need help from anyone. I have come to realize how wrong I am. God has been speaking to me about my error in thinking this way. I have always had a tendency to not trust people and to not call out for help or share my heart. I know that this has come from deep hurts that I have suffered and betrayals that I have faced in life. The problem in my thinking is that I also try to "fix" things without the Lord's help and in that I have sinned.
About a month ago I had a dream and it was profound. It brought back to me some of the hope that I had lost. But I had ignored part of the dream and God would not let me forget it. Recently I had a breaking point. I was struggling with loneliness, sadness and many other things that didn't seem to be going right. I cried out to Jesus for help and he reminded me of my dream. Part of my dream I was surrounded by my best friend and three other sisters in Christ. These women were rallying around me and helping me to stay focused on what God had planned for my life. The Lord told me he wanted me to humble myself and go to these women and 1) tell them about my dream 2) share with them my current struggles 3) ask them to come alongside of me in prayer and support and 4) promise to tell them how I am really doing when they ask me instead of the usual response of "I am fine" and "everything is great".
So after crying my eyes out I called each one of the sisters and I was stunned that immediately they gave me their full attention and support. They were completely on board to help me. I wept with each one of them because I was unloading and learning to lean on someone again.
I have discovered that I am not a superhero. I can't do this alone. I have to have help and I have to have someone to lean on. But I am also reminded that I truly can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)