A Letter From The Heart---Una Carta del Corazón

Dear Brother/Sister,

I don't know who you are but I feel strongly that this letter is for someone who will read this blog.

You are reading this now and your heart is broken. You have wandered far from home--the place where you belong and your heart is heavy and broken over choices that you have made, things that you have done and things that have been done against you. You think that things that you have done are too horrilbe for you to return, that you have gone to far to come back. You are ashamed of the things that you have done. You look at the chaos in your life and you become embarassed. You think that if anyone really knew the things that you have done, you would be rejected and you just can not take another bad thing occurring in your life. Just like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32, you are looking around at the mess you are living in and your heart aches to return home but you are stubborn in your fear and shame to return because of what you think people will say or do when you return. I tell you that I can see your heavenly Father and he is standing at the door waiting and watching for you to come home and he will run out and he will meet you before you even get to the door of home! He loves you and he is waiting for you to repent and come home! His arms are open for you to run into, don't wait, it is NOT too late for you to come home. Don't worry about what others will think because you have one sister who is weeping and praying for you to come home. I don't know you but I will keep praying for you to come home until the Lord releases me to stop praying and crying out on your behalf. Come home...

Estimado/a Hermano/Hermana,

Yo no sé quién usted es pero me siento que esta carta es para alguien que leerá este blog.

Usted esta leyendo este ahora y su corazón esta quebrantado. Ha llegado lejos de casa -- el lugar donde usted pertenece y su corazón está pesado y quebrantado sobre decisiones que usted ha tomado, las cosas que usted ha hecho y las cosas que han sido hechas contra usted. Piensa que cosas que usted ha hecho son tan horrilbe que usted no puede regresar, que usted ha ido a distante tan larga que no puede regresar. Usted se avergüenzado de las cosas que ha hecho. Esta mirando el caos en su vida y usted llega a ser avergonzado. Piensa que si cualquiera persona supo las cosas que usted ha hecho, sería rechazado y usted no puede tomar otra cosa mala que ocurre en su vida. Como el hijo pródigo en Lucas 15:11-32, Usted esta mirando alrededor en el disastre que esta viviendo en y sus dolores y su corazón anhela a regresar a casa pero usted es terco en su temor y la vergüenza y lo que usted piensa que personas dirán o harán cuando regresa y usted usa esos escusas para no regresar. ¡Le digo que puedo Yo ver a su Padre Celestial y él esta esperandote a la puerta y él esta mirando para usted volver a casa y le encontrará antes que llegue a la puerta de casa! ¡Le ama y le espera para arrepentirse de sus pecados y para volver a casa! Sus brazos están abiertos para usted, no espera, no es demasiado tarde para regresar a casa. No se preocupe por lo que otros pensarán porque usted tiene una hermana que llora y ora para usted volver a casa. Yo no le sé pero mantendré orar para usted volver a casa hasta que el Señor me suelte para parar orar par usted. Regresale...

Happy Mother's Day! ¡Feliz Día de las Madres!

To all of the Mother's who do not feel appreciated, to those who feel forgotten, to the single mom, the widowed mother and all mothers, May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he guide you as you raise your children, grandchildren, etc...He is the only one who can give you what you need to raise your children. If you are raising them alone, he is the partner that you need to raise your sons and daughters. He will give you wisdom and strength. Lean on him and trust him in all of the decisions that you make as a mother. Blessings to you!

Why?

It seems strange to say that you believe in God, you are living for him and you are mad at him. I know it seems contradictory or sacrilegious. But it’s true. I haven’t written anything in a long time due to being disappointed, depressed and angry. I guess I should clarify what I mean. I have been living the past seventeen years truly believing and waiting on God for his promises. I have chosen to live my life according to what I believe to be true: 1. Jesus is the son of God 2. He came to this world as a baby born of the Virgin Mary 3. He died on the cross for my sins 4. He rose from the grave and is a live and will return 5. He has a specific plan for my life and his Spirit will guide me as I seek his face and live for him.

So, if I believe so strongly, why was I disappointed, depressed and angry? The answer is simple and yet complex. I was disappointed because I thought things would be different. I thought that by now God would’ve lead me to this place in my life where I would’ve seen his promises for me (i.e.: a husband, more kids, a job that I enjoy, etc…) but what really has happened is: I lost someone whom I thought was going to turn out to be the one, I lost a house, moved into an apartment, had dealings with a person (or persons) who seemed set out to make my life miserable, have a job that I don’t like and have had multiple physical ailments and so much more that has made me question why.

It has been hard for me to understand why these things have happened. Don’t get me wrong I still strongly believe all of the things mentioned above, but I’ve been so hurt because things have not turned out the way that I imagined that God would’ve worked them out. It’s like being a child at Christmas expecting to see the toy they have waited all year for only to open up all of the packages and find nothing but clothing in the boxes.

I have thought often of Sarah and Abraham during this time. I can understand the desperation they must’ve felt for an heir. They were given a promise and month after month Sarah remained barren until their flesh took over and they tried to make the promise come true on their own. Sometimes I have felt that way, like I want to take matters into my own hands and try to make everything work myself, BUT then I remember that the consequences of doing things on my own will not only affect my spiritual and emotional well being but that of my family, my church family and perhaps even people I have not met yet. When I look at the big picture, I am able to lean on the Lord for the strength that I need to keep going. And just like David, I cry out to the Lord and I tell him everything that I feel (even though he knows, it helps to tell him and He wants us to talk with him). I confess to him that I am disappointed, depressed and I even tell him that I have been angry with him because I do not understand WHY.

I can’t even begin to count how many times I have wept and cried out WHY God, WHY would you allow this to happen? WHERE ARE YOU? DO YOU CARE? After I weep and reach out to him, his peace always comes and sustains me. There is always the reminder that: 1. His ways are not my ways 2. His thoughts are not my thoughts 3. He has plans that do not include harming me in any way 3. His grace is sufficient 4. He has not forgotten me, he is here with me holding me close and working in my life even when I cannot see it or feel it because of my humanity. (Isaiah 55:8, Jeremiah 29:11, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Isaiah 49:14-16, Luke 12:6&7, Hebrews 13:5, Psalm 9:12)

Brother, Sister, I know how you are feeling. Keep holding on to Jesus. I have recently begun to ask him to help me deal with my emotions as I wait. I won’t always understand why things work the way they do or why some people get sick or why people have to wait longer than others for the answers to their prayers BUT I do know that God is the same yesterday, today and forever and no matter how often we cry out WHY or WHERE ARE YOU, the answer will always be coming from the God who walks with us and it will come at just the right time regardless of what our emotions may tell us.